Do your words build people up or do they tear people down? This is an important question that we all need to ask ourselves. Encouragement can do wonders in a person’s life, but the opposite of that can destroy confidence, self-worth, and opportunities for other people to grow. School bullying has received a lot of attention in recent years for good reason. Bullying can tear down in ways that are devastating to school-aged kids. But adults should heed those words as well. Adults can bully and treat people in ways that are just as bad as what might happen on the playground.

This reminds me of the story about author Muriel Anderson. She was asked one time about who encouraged her and how she became a writer and author. She said that four particular words shaped her life. Those words were spoken over and over by her father and became building blocks for her self-esteem and confidence. She said, “I was fortunate enough to have a father who was good at saying “Of course you can!” just at the right moments. She shared about one time that her family had moved from a small town high school to a very large high school in the city. She wrote an article about the wonderful small town that she had left behind but figured the paper in that small town would not print it.

The paper had a tight budget and rarely would publish any freelance articles that were written, especially from an amateur high school writer. But her dad kept encouraging her to send it and see if they would publish it. She said to him, “I don’t think I can get it published.” His words to her were, “Of course you can!” She sent it, they published it, and Muriel eventually became an author and writer.

In a world that so often likes to tear down, we need to build up. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” When we follow that advice we just don’t know who and how we may shape someone’s future. Yes, there are times for helpful correction, words of advice, and thoughtful instruction. But those words must be anchored in love and not hate. People will never agree on every detail in this life, but we must have each other’s best interest at heart. When our life is over do we want to look back at all of the people we have built up or look back on those we have torn down?

Let’s build together. Whatever your occupation, calling, or ministry, let’s find ways to encourage those around us. Let’s make a difference in this world by choosing a different type of communication style. A style encouraged by scripture. Try to be aware of your words this week. Think about times that you choose words that do not build the other person up. Make a conscious effort, with God’s help, to be an encouraging and helpful presence in this world.